Funny Friday: Valentines Day

Since Valentines Day is Tuesday,

I thought it would be a great theme for Funny Friday. Enjoy!

Funny Friday

It's Friday!

I love saying that. Why?

Because that means for the next two days my husband and children

will be home with me! :)

I hope that you all have a very wonderful weekend.

Here are some funny baby pictures to help get it started!

Happy Thanksgiving! (LOVE this commercial)

Funny Friday

ENJOY! And, have a Happy Friday!!

Funny Friday

Happy Funny Friday!!

I hope that your weekend is great.

Here are a few Humorous signs to give you a smile for the weekend.

Funny Friday

It's Friday! WOOHOO!

Time to start another weekend!

Let's get the fun started with a laugh!

This week, I'm posting some interesting

messages that have been used and suggested for answering machines.

When the caller calls your number, have your message be a busy signal!

The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed.

The new number is 226-0477. (Yes, same number.) Please make a note of it.

Thank you for calling the Peoria Weather Line.

(Insert appropriate weather report for the season here.)

Hello, you have reached Dave. Please enter your four digit PIN at the tone.

Hello, you have reached 555-1234.

Our voice mail system is currently experiencing difficulties,

so at the tone, please type your message on the keypad using the appropriate letters,

and press the pound sign when finished.

The party you dialed is not available.

Your call is being diverted to an alternate number.

Please stand by... (Ring...)

The number you dialed must be dialed by your operator. (Click, beep, dial tone.)

Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.)

No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now.

Maybe you should leave a message at the beep or call me back later.

BEEP. (Pause three seconds.)

Just kidding, that wasn't really the beep. Are you ready now?

Hello you have reached the Smith residence. All of our operators are busy.

Your call will be processed in the order it was received. (Annoying music...)

Due to a large volume of calls, all of our operators are bu... (Ringing phone.)

Hello, we're sorry were not home right now,

so please leave your message after the beep.

Funny Friday

Let's get our weekend off to a great start with a laugh.

Nicholas & I are going to join Weight Watchers tomorrow morning.

So, I thought I'd post some Diet humor for you!

It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the seconds.

The best way to lose weight is by skipping ... snacks and desert.

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Stressed: The word "stressed" makes perfect sense when you realize

that it is "desserts" spelled backwards.

On a diet? Go to the paint store - you can get thinner there.

A great way to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror.

Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much...

I KEEP TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT IT KEEPS FINDING ME!!

Handy dandy dieting tip: CARROT CAKE COUNTS AS A SERVING OF VEGETABLES.

LORD, IF I CAN'T BE SKINNY, PLEASE MAKE ALL MY FRIENDS FAT!

THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF PEOPLE FALLING OFF THEIR DIETS IS FOOD

A MOMENT ON THE LIPS, FOREVER ON THE HIPS

EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU SURE THIS SCALE IS IN POUNDS AND NOT IN OUNCES?

STOP CONGRATULATING ME. I HAVEN'T PUT MY OTHER FOOT ON THE SCALE YET.

Funny Friday

HAPPY FRIDAY!!

For my funny Friday this week, I thought I'd

post two videos for two funny (and weird) Christmas songs.

Enjoy and have a great weekend.

I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Dominick the Donkey

Funny Friday

So, it's Friday again. For this week's Funny Friday, I posted some humorous pictures.

Enjoy!

Funny Friday, Part two

(A friend of mine, *Karen* sent these jokes, and they were too funny not to share! Thanks, Karen!)

Here are some more funnies for your Friday! Have a wonderful weekend!!

What’s white and goes up?

A confused snowflake!

What do you call an old snowman?

Water!

What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What goes: now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?

A snowman on a zebra crossing!

What goes “oh, oh, oh”?

Santa walking backwards!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name again!

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can ho ho ho!

When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

In the dictionary!

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas one has no L (noel)!

What do you have in December that’s not in any other month?

The letter D!

Why is it always cold at Christmas?

Because it’s in Decemberrrr!

What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?

Silent Night!

How does a snowman lose weight?

He waits for the weather to get warmer!

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrot?

How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?

Only one, after that it’s not empty any more!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinselitus!

What carol is heard in the desert?

Camel ye fathful!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

Jungle bells, jungle bells!

What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?

Sandy claws!

What is Santa’s dog called?

Santa Paws!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a detective?

Santa Clues!

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when the fire is lit?

Crisp Cringle!

What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?

Santa Pause!

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

A merry Christmas to ewe!

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pineapple!

What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?

Neither, candles always burn shorter!

Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?

Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?

What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas?

He got 12 months!

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic!

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?

They both drop needles!

What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?

Snow!

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum – you can’t beat it!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND! REMEMBER TO SMILE.

SMILING IS CONTAGIOUS! GIVE ONE AWAY TODAY!!

Funny Friday

So, for this week's Funny Friday, I decided that instead of jokes,

I would post humorous pictures of deer.

(A lot of people in my family are hunters, so

I'm sure they will get a chuckle out of a few of them .)

Have a Wonderful weekend.

Funny Friday

With all of the craziness of today, the busiest shopping day of the year,

we could all use a little funny.

What do snowmen wear on their heads ?

Ice caps

What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?

A snowball

What does Frosty like to put on his icebergers?

Chilly sauce

What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick?

A chill pill

What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night?

Cold cream

Where does Frosty keep his money?

In a Snowbank

What did the police officer say when he saw Frosty stealing?

"Freeze!"

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.

Funny Friday

Proverbs 17:22

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

Happy Funny Friday!

Let's start our weekend off with a smile.

What's the turkey's favorite black tie celebration?

The Butter Ball!

How does a turkey drink her wine?

In a gobble-let!

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?

A turkey that can pluck himself!

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?

Your nose!

How do you send a turkey to someone?

Bird class mail

What do teddy bears have in common with turkeys?
They're both stuffed!

What sound does a Turkey's phone make?
Wing! Wing!

Well, those are my "jokes" for today.

I Hope that they put a smile on your face.

Have a great weekend.

Funny Friday

So, who's in the mood for a few gobbles.... I mean... giggles?

I hope you are, because it's time again for Funny Friday!!

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?

Their AGE

What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?

Turkey feathers

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Yes, a building can't jump

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

The turKEY

What do turkeys use to clean themselves?

A feather duster

Is turkey soup good for your health?

Not if you're a turkey!

Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says.

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls Jacksonville immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced.

Do not do a single thing until I get there.

I am calling my brother back, and we will both be there tomorrow.

Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,

"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

HAHAHAHAHA!!

I hope that these little jokes brought a smile to your face.

Have a great weekend!

Funny Friday

It's Friday again, and that means it's time for Funny Friday!

I hope that at least one of these riddles make you giggle and brighten your day.

Q. What are unhappy cranberries called?

A. Blueberries!

Q. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

A. Pilgrims!

Q. When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?

A. On their feet!

Q. Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?

A. He was stuffed!

Q. What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?

A. Your teeth!

Q. Why did they let the turkey join the band?

A. He had the drumsticks!

Q. Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?

A. He wanted a light snack!

When asked Asked to write "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving",

little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

Well, those are just a few little jokes that hopefully put a smile on your face, even if they are corny. :)

Funny Friday

So, Rachael (The Mory (Jr) Family ) and I have decided that Fridays will be Funny Friday. We'll

post some jokes to brighten the mood for the weekend.

I figured that since today was Halloween, I'd post a few Halloween Jokes.

Here ya go.....

What is a vampires favourite type of ship?

A blood vessel.

What was a witch's favourite subject when they were in school?

Spelling!

Why did the mummy call the doctor?

Because her baby was coffin.

Why wasn't the vampire working?

He was on his coffin break.

What's a ghosts favourite ride at the carnival?

The roller ghoster

What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?

Fasten your sheet belt.

How do you repair a broken Jack-o-lantern?

Buy a pumpkin patch!

That's all for now.... Have a very Happy and Safe Halloween!!